It’s taken me so long to write this post because my leap of faith didn’t have a landing place until now.
Ever since I was about ten years old I have been on a path toward higher education. When I was ten I got a 92.4 in Social Studies for just one quarterly report….and I cried because “People who make B’s don’t get into Harvard”.
By 22 I was working towards my dream job, becoming a professor. I already held a double bachelor’s degree and a master’s. I was in my first semester of my PhD when everything changed.
I hated the school, the program I was in, the work I was doing. The whole shebang.
For the first time in my life I HATED school. I didn’t even know what to do with that because I had never had that feeling about school before. It was a new experience and one I didn’t enjoy. Halfway through the semester I was burned out; I couldn’t even pretend to do the work.
I was so upset by the toxic academic climate, my falling grades, and the general disinterest I had in learning (which I have always loved), that I took advantage of my school’s resources and enrolled in therapy. My therapist helped my through several breakthroughs in understanding my own happiness. Ultimately I decided I couldn’t commit to four and a half more years of a job and learning environment that I hated.
I QUIT SCHOOL.
Not only did I quit, but I didn’t even finish classes. Two of my three classes will be “incompletes” for a year until they transition to “withdraw failings” on my transcript. The one class I did finish: only a B+.
This was the best decision I ever made. I was finally free to read what I wanted, to travel, to find what actually made me happy. I didn’t have to kowtow to anybody’s idea of what my life should be.
However, it was also the first time I had really and truly failed at something this big. I had generally been a success who spent her time living up to other’s expectations. Now I had complete freedom and also no direction.
Enter: the quarter-life crisis.
With no idea what I was doing or where I was going I was really floundering by myself. But as I read other twenty-somethings depressing life stories I realized that the quarter-life crisis is a plague sweeping my generation. I also realized I had something to offer the world.
I am an extremely determined person, and I knew I could figure a way out of this. Through this blog I would like to bring you all along on this insane adventure with me. As I try to live an unconventional but extremely fulfilling life, I’d like to share my tips and hacks so you can do the same.
In upcoming posts I’ll explain in detail how I:
-sold my stuff
-found ways to travel
-found happiness in letting go
-supported myself financially
-and even got into another PhD program (with more $$$$ and a better reputation!!)
I hope these insights into my life can help others to feel happier too. To unlock their potential. To live differently. To be themselves. And hopefully to beat their own quarter-life crises. Changing my direction and taking this leap of faith that involved “potentially-losing-everything-I-had-worked-for” ended up being the best hair-brained decision I ever made. I’m ecstatic that I was sure of myself enough to do a self trust fall. If I hadn’t I would not be in the happiest portion of my life to date, with the expectation that it will get even better from here.
This is a crazy journey, but I plan to share it with you in hopes that someone else out there can take a leap of faith, a self trust fall, and turn their life upside down in the best possible way like I have.